The pictures above I have been reluctant to share. Though they don’t look special, they hold quite a story. A story I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share. A while ago, I had a chance (or so I thought) to get back a friend. Knowing that what caused us to split was a mistake. I was happy to have another chance. My current friends and he were back together. I was ecstatic to have the group back, we would all spend time together, and everything would be good again. Unfortunately, he only came back due to the one friend he stayed connected to asked him. He didn’t want to group. He couldn’t let go. Constantly those two were off doing things, and now being the “group”, I thought we had.
Depression sat in while I grasped at the hope at being a group. It was a lie. He never wanted to try, it was false, it was a face placed on to make that other friend happy. Soon enough, he pushed and I left again. This time knowing that “chance”, I thought I had was a lie. A while passed and my muse stayed with me, we decided to try once more. We tried to get those friends back, but in the end, they decided it wasn’t worth the effort. At that point, we left knowing it would never work.
For a while, I was toying with the idea of a form of manipulation. I decided to stop before I even started. It wouldn’t make me any better than either of them. For the time while I was thinking about it, I made an account on a site I knew they both frequented. A furry site. Now, before a shit storm, I have no issues with furries. Most are personable, kind, and silly. I did meet some nice people on there. It reminded me of my first time on Gaia online when it first stared. Back to the main point, I wanted to be believable. I wonder if he would befriend me if I was me but he didn’t know it was me. Therefore, I made a profile, but making one wasn’t enough, I wanted the fursona to match me. The idea of a fursona appealed to me, I like the idea of characters resembling me but in a fantasy sense. The sexual appeal that most furries have for animals, however, I don’t have.
The character above is Abbie, short of Abigale. She’s a grey bunny that likes to where clothes, but never pants! I made her to be a Goth of sorts. My inspiration for her, drawing wise was based off a deviant artist: Slugbox. His art has always amazed me with how good his detail, poses and shading was. So while drawing Abbie, I mixed his ideas into my fursona. The post, the face idea, the shading, and the clothes were from Slugboxes drawings. The tail, ears, piercings, panties cut out, and some minor things were from me.
This fursona symbolizes me as a person, well a bunny person, as well as a last attempt to prove a point. That friend and I spoke quite a bit while I was Abbie; he had no issues with me while he didn’t know it was me. It was silly. Nevertheless, alas, I dropped the ill intent that never went anywhere and here I am. I know that he didn’t have anything against me as a person, being Abbie rectified that for me, he couldn’t get over the mistake, and it would never happen. I guess it was a form of closure for me.
This picture is why I wasn’t posting often. I suppose I wasn’t comfortable breaking that illusion in case I changed my mind. Alternatively, maybe I didn’t want to admit it. I should be able to post at least weekly now.